A Perfect Relationship

Ephesians 4:32

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A few weeks ago, I was speaking with a fellow pastor about marriage counseling, and he was telling me that whenever one of his members comes into his office and spills this whole story about how they’ve been hurt tremendously in their marriage by their husband or wife, he often remarks to them. Well, that doesn’t surprise me.

Perhaps the individuals are a bit shocked, Pastor, don’t you think that what they did to me is serious? And certainly he does, but he goes on to explain. Explains that he isn’t surprised because every one of us are sinners. We all have a sinful nature. Even Christians, and as hard as we try to do what is right, we continue to sin every day. But he also isn’t surprised that a spouse has hurt another one because of our close contact with one another. If you think about it, if we sin every day, if we hurt people every day, who is it that you spend the most time with in your life? If you’re married, it’s probably your spouse, you’re around them more than anyone else. Very likely you’re going to hurt them more than anyone else in your life.

In some ways, that’s kind of sad. Kind of sad, because our husband or wife is someone that we say that we love, that we dedicate our life to, that we don’t want to hurt. But as hard as we try, we do. And yet know all of this. I think it’s very helpful for us when it comes to our relationships, especially our marriages, to know that there is no perfect marriage. Because every marriage is made up of two sinners, even if they are Christians and those sinners are going to hurt each other. They’re going to sin, maybe sometimes in very, very big and terrible ways.

But it is important for us to know how to deal with this sin. God in his word encourages us as Christians that when we sin, when we hurt one another, to repent, come to each other and say that we’re sorry for what we have done wrong. To be sincere in that sorrow. But he also invites us for the one that has been hurt to forgive.

But we wonder, how can we possibly do that, especially when the hurt is so deep, especially when it came from the person who said that they loved us. Well God gives us that motivation and Ephesians Chapter 4 verse 32. Where it says

Be kind and compassionate to one another. Forgiving one another, just as God in Christ has forgiven us. (Ephesians 4:32)

It reminds us of the motivation to forgive each other when hurt has been caused. The motivation isn’t that that person has been so nice to us all of the time, but the motivation is God’s forgiveness that he’s shown to us in Christ. Talk about hurting someone countless times because we’re in close contact with them. Imagine all of the times that we hurt, not just our fellow believers or fellow people, neighbors, coworkers, friends, family, so forth, but who do we hurt the most? Isn’t it God? Isn’t he the one who sees everything that we do? Isn’t he the one that’s laid down his perfect commands for us? Yet we sin against him time and time again. Yet, he loved, forgave you.

Forgave you for the sake of his Son, Jesus Christ. And invites you to do the same in your marriage and in your other relationships. So it is true. We are going to hurt each other when it comes to our relationships because we’re sinners and we are in close contact with one another. Let us have the right attitude in dealing with the problem. Confess our sins to one another, but also to forgive each other because God in Christ has forgiven us. Amen.